Baby Books Made Me Dumb

The human body has two oft overlooked yet incredibly vital organs.  As we enter this new technological age of instant information, I find that these particular ones are being used less and less.  Baby books in particular are culprits in this deadening.  The organs I'm talking about are, of course, your brain and your eyes.

Thinking, according to tradition, has generally been considered quite an important aspect in the survival of most living species.  The ability to "look" is one that humans have evolved to rely upon quite heavily.  When paired together (e.g., "Look"ing at something and then thinking about what you're seeing) great things can occur.  The pairing of these functions has led to many important developments including the invention of the wheel, cartesian mathematics, and the TV series Peep Show.

Over the past couple of months I've discovered that by using baby books (and in particular those by the so-called Baby Whisperer), you are effectively removing your brain and your eyes from the parenting equation.

All baby books seem to contain the same caveat (..."All babies are unique so what is contained may not apply"...) and reassurance (..."But this will help you fulfil little Julie's fullest potential to be the next Sarah Palin"...) but none address the bloody obvious in that if the information contained therein is just a hodgepodge of advice some of which will work, some of which won't, some of which will work 32% of the time, some which will work 50% of the time 47% of the time, etc., you've got just as much chance of getting a useful piece of parenting advice by reading American Psycho and you do reading Why Toddlers Toddle: The Toddling Years.

They also encourage you ignore the signals your baby gives you (While reassuring you they'll teach you these self same ones) by looking to their charts, developing your routines (Not schedules.  Schedules BAD!) and watching your babies movements in a manner to be slotted into their programme which may or may not be applicable at this particular time.

Which brings me to the whole point of this marginally thought out rant (Is there any other kind?): Thanks to The Baby Whisperer, when Henry came home, every time he would cry or freak out, I would turn to her book and try to match up what his actions were to her chart:

Flailing arms: Overtired.  Kicking: Hungry.  Uncoordinated kicking: Overtired.  Flailing arms & kicking: Over stimulated.  One arm flailing, one leg kicking counter-clockwise: Needs a change of scenery.  Head rotated 180 degrees &amp & vomiting: Possessed.

The point being that the book wants you to pay so much attention to it that you're no longer paying attention to your baby.  You're not picking up it's individual cues.  Or using such wacky things like your eyes and brain to simply observe, assess & respond.

Which, on the grand scheme of things, get us by on a day to day basis.  It's why I don't regularly get hit by cars while crossing the street or go to work with my dirty underwear on my head.  It's not that hard.  We all do it.  The problem is that if people realize this then they won't need to buy these books and people who are adept at making up acronyms don't make 7.5 million dollars.

Next time: Oh, lets go for... a review of some sort.