Movie Review: Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire

Hello,

I'm Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, hereafter known simply as Precious. The reason why I have such an unwieldy name is because the producers (e.g., Oprah Winfrey) felt that that people would easily confuse me, a movie about incest-AIDS-poverty-teenage pregnancy-black-hispanic-ghetto life meets Dangerous Minds, with a movie about white teenagers with telekinetic powers who fight stuff. It's (not so) funny when you consider that there are two movies out there named Crash: One about how white people are racist cunts and the other about how white people want to have sex with car crashes. I guess white people are clever enough to figure out the gaping huge difference between the two films and that my target audience, perhaps, maybe, I don't know, black people, weren't considered smart enough to tell the difference by my producers (e.g., Oprah Winfrey).

And while I'm gritty and real, and so important that wealthy producers such as Oprah Winfrey felt guilty enough to sponsor me, there is a grim realness about and overweight nobody who dreams about achieving greatness and manages to achieve her dreams (really mediocrity) is remarkably true to life with regard to the lead actor, Something-Or-Other, an overweight nobody who achieves greatness yet only achieves mediocrity. Thus achieving nothing at all.

Kudos to Lenny Kravitz whose affair with Nichole Kidman managed to land him 10 minutes of screen time. Additional kudos to Mariah Carey's edgy performance where she appears in front of cameras without makeup and plays the most incompetent social worker ever.

Mo'nique is superlative as the most one dimensional bad guy since Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List: A cartoon baddy with not a single redeeming feature who turns a disturbing and troubled reality into a caricature.

So what am I about? In a nutshell, poor black people acting like violent poor black people with a double-minority Christ figure who saves them (As opposed to a white woman in, say, Dangerous Minds, it's a black lesbian in Precious. How cutting edge!)

I am a movie for wealthy black people to feel guilty about their achievements brought to you by a wealthy black woman who made a career aping Phil Donahue (e.g., Oprah Winfrey). I am condescending and apolitical The kind on film Uncle Phil would take Carlton to in an effort to 'keep it real.'

If you would like to see a film that is everything that I want to be, I recommend Clockers:



It's also based on a novel by an upper-class black writer with no lived experience of the subject matter but, unlike myself, Clockers does not have a rich, guilt-ridden producer behind me (e.g., Oprah Winfrey) and, instead, makes a political point and tries to find a solution to the problems I present. Also, as the director is also extremely political, it is understandable that Clockers did not get the recognition it deserves.

After all, The target audience for Vlockers isn't the kind of idiots who confuses telekinesis with incest.

Yours with love,
Precious